To My Beloved Granny

The night that you were gone I cried myself to prostration. I heard the sound of your kiss one last time on my cheek. If I knew it was my last hug I would have held you forever. I remember you were concerned of my marriage but I shrugged it away. Your smile echoes through my mind like it is another voice in the dark and I hear your laughter cure my sick heart of its blame. The days pass by with you in my dream walking as if you are alright but behind all this healthy diet lies the eternal sadness. You have gathered us all together when it came to your last breath and we didn’t just bury your body but we buried love with you granny. Remember that I am alive and I will take care of your on going charity. The way you named me after the first martyr in Islam I would fight to be like your shadow covered all with generosity, coated with kindness and sprinkled with sympathy for those in need. They say I didn’t shed a tear little did they know about this broken heart which melted at your call of departure. I am sorry for the days I didn’t live by your side.I apologise for not asking what your last wishes were and all my life I will wonder why. Your grandchild has learned about emotions and affection. She isn’t anymore the kid who would give you her candy storage for you to keep your black seeds. There is no one to love me now the way you did. My grief is unknown to all those watchers nearby because you have taught me to be strong and pull out a face of my own that displayed no dismay. The memories that you have given me is enough to cherish a life time. I doubt I will ever live as long as you did. You were here yesterday narrating a story to me but then you waved me goodbye in silence that I failed to hear. I prayed during hajj that you die after seeing my first baby but this was left unanswered to free you from this world’s miseries. My crocodile tears mean nothing to you coz you can’t hear or see anymore.  That is alright all that matters is now that the love you have given me. For this life of mine it was enough to fill the vacant spaces of my soul and soften me of all the hardness that I carried with me all along. My beloved you have returned to the One Who created you. I am afraid I thought I would have a peak of you next time but there is no next time. You were here among us now you are beneath us. Your questioning has started and I hope you are doing good in al Barzakh.


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