The Absence of Home Episode 2

Monday, 16 January 2017

As I slowly push myself off my bed, nudging to start my day at night. I do my usual chores and all of a sudden I can feel my inside shivering. Its 6am and I am prostrating but I can still feel myself shaking. I am not scared. I am not ill. I am just clueless.

7am and I see that the rain hasn’t stopped yet.Perhaps taking the umbrella would be a good idea. Not sure if I should take a cab or walk to college. I then settle for walking. The security guard takes my name. It is the second time she has done that. She remembers me. She greets me with Salam and I reply back with a question ”How are you?” She answers ”Fine.” At this moment she is smiling and I then get on with the day.

On my way I see that the lower part of my abaya is wet. I sigh after years of wearing the abaya I haven’t learned my lesson. I should have lifted it up abit to avoid the rain water from touching it. I should have taken a cab I utter to myself with regret. It would cost me like SR. 2. But then there is this strange freedom in carrying an umbrella to protect myself from the storm.

I see the lecturer has already arrived. She isn’t curious to know me or my name. But she wants me to sit front right before her eyes. Its already 9:30 am and we have been given a 15 mins break. I run to the fruit stall I am craving for some pineapple, apple etc. She grins and mutters ”There is no fruit now.” I am disappointed. I quickly make my way towards the bakery. Nothing interesting except chicken sandwich with cheese. I buy it. I eat it silently in the class after arguing with myself as to whether I need it or not.

M sits right beside me her eyes shut down. She isn’t afraid to upset the lecturer. I try closing my eyes but I don’t want her to think I don’t care. My first class this semester and I am already tired. I notice that she doesn’t seek our response. She is old, her skin wrinkly and her voice loud and clear. She points out that we are directress and not a teacher because teachers teach but in montessori we direct the children and make a way to life for them. I like that. I like it alot. Freedom is within limits in Montessori. I learn that independence in Montessori comes with a line which if crossed then the children will be held accountable for.

She says research showed that students who review their notes  within 24 hours of the lecture score 70-80%. At this point I can see myself scoring As this semester but only if I go through the notes.

I come back to the apartment I sleep for a few hours before I perform Asr. I then sleep again and talk to my Mom. She says to drink hot milk to cure my shivering. She asks if I am scared. I answer ”No.” She then calls back to make sure I have drunk it. I take out the pot its rusty I squint. I have no choice except to heat it so I do. I then mix with horlicks that has been lying in the jar for a couple of months now. I see that someone has texted me and I reply before making myself to perform ablution. After I am done with Maghrib I drink it honestly it isn’t that bad.

I print out the slides and sit to write this. Its 8:55pm now.


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