I come from a Sufi family where a lot of bidah and shirk is present. Alhamdulillah Allah guided me to the straight path and Alhamdulillah Allahumma Baarik I got married to a Salafi .
I started to relearn my Deen correctly from the correct sources Alhamdulillah and had the company of my dear husband who Masha Allah tabarak Allah is of a strong emaan and he patiently and kindly helped me always.
I used to do an internship at the hospital before my marriage and hence have seen suffering people. I could never go inside the pediatric icu as I have always loved babies and I couldn’t see that . I would sit outside as my colleagues went in .I would look at the board where the babies names were written and feel so bad for the parents .
Allah blessed us with a baby boy after a year and a half of our marriage ,I named him Ismail to this day that memory makes me cry. I had chosen that name for my son since I was in 10th. Ismail was very dear ,my first baby I cared for him a lot. When he was 7 and a half months old he was admitted in the hospital because he got seizures the doctor said nothing to worry we can go home tomorrow morning . I was sitting in the ward in the night looking at my baby sleeping then a Muslim lady came up and asked me what was wrong and all she left me saying looking at Ismail that he is possessed you need to put a taweez (amulet) for him she said no Medicine will help ,he will get worse .At that point I just ignored her but slowly it was seeping in after all I was raised in ahime where all this was so strongly practiced . Ismail’s health got worse, he was in ICU now ,when I sat outside and saw my Ismail’s name on the board I broke down crying and then I thought does Ismail need a taweez am I being arrogant and pushing my baby to death?
This though kept becoming stronger and stronger. All I had to do was tell my mom and she would get it for me I had to hide it from my husband, all this kept playing in my mind. Ismail was sick for a month and it had been a month since we saw him play or smile. One night I saw my husband and Ismail sleeping and thought it’s enough Ismail has suffered enough I will call my mom now and get the taweez. I started to cry and cry and I thought of all the sacrifices I had made to be on the haqq how I had wished a life of emaan for my Ismail, I told myself then no NO I will not do it, if Ismail is destined to die he will die on Tawheed I will never do shirk never, I cried profusely that night asked for Allah’s forgiveness and slept in the morning my husband woke me up in excitement and said look at Ismail .Ismail was sitting up smiling at both of us ,I cried and cried and hugged him, from that day on his health got better and better. The doctors has suspected anything for my baby paralysis , coma, death etc.. Subhanallah my Allah didn’t want to take my baby He Subhanawatala only wanted to cleanse me of the shirk and wanted to clean my heart Subhanallah. I could have bore see myself or my husband in pain but Ismail was to dear ya Ustaza.Today my Ismail is 12 years old and healthy Alhamdulillah and is doing hifz Alhamdulillah.Allah’s Qadar even when we see it as hurting us is only and only for are good.
Disclaimer: This is shared by an anonymous Salafi mother to student of knowledge Zaynab Al Kateb after the end of her Usul Ath Thalatha 2018 classes and the names have been changed to keep her privacy.