15 Things to Do Before You Get Married

Whether you are seeking marriage or you are happily single. Don’t despair seeing all the married couples online. You could make use of this time to get closer to Allaah because after nikkah you will have needs to cater to. All the married sisters I have spoken are super busy with newborns, chores and guests etc.

              1. First and foremost study Aqeedah. You could join a study circle or listen to the explanation of Usool Ath Thalatha in recordings of lectures. You can email me  hastynomad@gmail.com for sisters only study circle taught by student of knowledge,  Zaynab Al Kateb.

        2.Learn how the Prophet Muhammad sall Allaahu alayhi wa sallam prayed by reading How the Prophet ﷺPrayed by Shaykh Abdul-Aziz bin Abdulllah bin Baz.

3.Memorise Quran: So below I will give you some authentic links to help you while memorising the words of our Lord.

4. Try to perfect your hijab if you haven’t already. Of course some sisters say that they will start wearing the veil/hijab after marriage but a man who has Taqwa would want to marry a woman who has Taqwa. You can’t expect to change overnight after your nikkah. You will be the same person after marriage as you are now except that now your husband will have the upper hand and will be your protector. And the question is will you be wearing the hijab because of your husband or you will be wearing it to follow the commands of Allaah? Because I have met sisters and one particularly whose husband died and the niqab and the hijab SubhanAllaah she left it all. It is very important that you don’t delay to follow the commands of Allaah because youth do die unmarried. And if there is Emaan in your heart it will reflect on your outer appearance. Two knowledgeable readings are:

The Conditions for the Proper Hijaab – Shaykh Zayd Al-Madkhalee

The Jilbaab and what Garments can Substitute It – Shaykh al-Albaani

5. Spend lots and lots of time with your family specially with your parents. Listen to them. Be patient with them if they are not Salafi.

6. Learn how to cook. It is very important that you know even if you don’t need it.

7. Minimise your contact with non-maharim (plurah of mahram). No Salafi righteous man would want to know that his wife interacts with brothers randomly. If you know a Sheikh or a student of knowledge you can ask questions but also respect the timezone and don’t be persistent if they are not replying. It applies to both genders but I have spoken to righteous sisters and a key to a successful marriage is to keep it low key among non Maharim. If you are doing it he will do it and if he does it you will do it. You will not like a husband who is always interested in your friend’s whereabouts.  Imagine marrying a man and finding out that most of the sisters on social media already know him ”personally”. There is something called self-restraint. That quality is very important.

8. Study Arabic Language. You can self-teach yourself.

9. If you have any issue such as anger issues you need to take control of it. Speak less. Listen more. During an argument leave if you fear you will utter anything that will displease Allaah.

10. Wake up for tahajjud. Increase in your nawafil prayers.

11. Fast on the white days of the lunar month and Mondays and Thursdays. After marriage for recommended fasts you have to ask your husband’s permission.

12. Spend less. Minimise your expenditure. Be generous when helping out those in need.

13. Learn manners and how to effectively resolve conflicts. You can read this book Upright Moral Character by Shaykh Muhammad Saalih Uthaymeen. 

14. Do your chores rather than depending on your family.

15. Lastly, read this book 20 Pieces Advice to my sister before her Marriage by Sheikh Badr bin Ali Al-Utaybee. I have read it a couple of times because the keys to a successful marriage: this book has it all.

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 The Advice of Sheikh Sulyman Ar Ruhaly to Muslims regarding the Political Conflict between (Saudi Arabia, Egypt…etc) and Qatar.p

SALAAF AS SAALIH:

What or Who is the Salaf?

The Permanent Committee [for Research and Verdicts] was asked:

❝What is Salafiyyah, and what is your opinion concerning it?❞

So they replied:

❝Salafiyyah is an ascription to the Salaf. The word ‘Salaf’ refers to the Companions of Allaah’s Messenger [ﷺ] and the Imaams of guidance from the first three generations of whom the Messenger of Allaah [ﷺ] testified for as to their superiority when he said: ‘The best of mankind is my generation, then those who come after them, then those who come after them. Then there will come a people who will bear witness before taking an oath, and take an oath before bearing witness.’ [Reported by Imaam Ahmad in his Musnad, Al-Bukharee and Muslim]

The word Salafiyoon is the plural of Salafee, and it is an ascription to the Salaf. The meaning of the word Salaf has already been mentioned. Furthermore, it also refers to those who follow the methodology of the Salaf, which entails following the Book and the Sunnah, calling the people to them and acting upon them. So as a result of this, they become the adherents of the Sunnah and the unified body [Ahlus-Sunnah wal-Jamaa’ah].❞

[Al-Lajnat-ud-Daa’imah Lil-Buhooth-il-‘Ilmiyyah, (No. 1361) | (2/165-166) | Translated By Al-Ibaanah Publishing]
Question:

Which Madhab do the salafi follow?

The Salafi follows the proof according to Quran or Hadeeth.
We follow the madhhab which provides the strongest proof in an issue or opinion, so we take from the 4 madhab.
In each issue we see which madhab has the strongest daleel (proof) and we follow the opinion based on the daleel provided. Not the madhab itself.
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Calling oneself a ‘Salafi’

Shaykh al-Albaanee – raheemullaah – said: “However, there are some who claim knowledge who deny this ascription, claiming that it has no foundation, saying: “It is not permissible for a Muslim to say: I am Salafi.” And it is as if he is saying: “It is not permissible for me to say: l am following the Salafus-Saalih in what they were upon in ‘aqeedah, worship and manners!” And there is no doubt that the likes of this denial – if that is what is meant – implies that he is disassociating himself from the correct Islaam that the Salafus-Saalih were upon … Thus it is not permissible for a Muslim to disassociates himself from being ascribed to the Salafus-Saalih. If, however, he freed himself from any other nisbah ( ascription ), then none of the people of knowledge could accuse him of disbelief or sinfulness. However, the one who refuses calling himself with this name Salafi, then it should be seen, does he attribute himself to a particular madhhab – whether in matters of ‘aqeedah or fiqh” So perhaps he will call himself an Ash’aree or a Maatareedee, or he may be from Ahlul-Hadeeth, or a Hanafee, Maalikee, Shaafi’ee or Hanbalee – from those matters which enter into the term Ahlus-Sunnah wal-Jamaa’ah. Despite that fact that the one who ascribes himself to the Ash’aree madhhab, or the four well-known madhhabs, then he has ascribed himself to those who are not protected from making mistakes as individuals – even though there are from them Scholars that attain what is correct. So why O why do they not reject the likes of these ascriptions to individuals who are not protected from mistakes? However, as for the one who ascribes himself to the Salafus-Saalih collectively – then he ascribes himself to that which is protected from mistakes.”

[Al-Asaalah Magazine 9/87]

Short Reply To Those Who Say:

“The term ‘Salafi’ is new and has come from the ‘Saudis’ or Al-Albani or ibn Abdul-Wahhab رحمهم الله 

1• Imam Bukhari mentioned a chapter heading in his ‘Saheeh’:

Chapter: What the Salaf used to store in their homes and their journeys from food and meat.’

‘2• AbdurRahmaan bin ‘Amr al-Aawza’i (d.156 A.H.) said:

‘Be patient upon the Sunnah, stop where the Companions stopped, and say what they said, and keep away from what they kept away from, and follow the way of your Salaf as-Salih, since what is sufficient for them is sufficient for you.’

Collected by al-Ajurri in ash-Sharia’ (p.58)

3• Imaam adh – Dhahabee رحمه الله

(d.748H)

Said, It is authentically related from ad Daraqutnee that he said, There is nothing more despised by me than Ilmul- Kallam i.e innovated speech and rhetorics , I say

RATHER HE SHOULD BE A SALAFEE !

Siyar A’laamun- Nubalaa (16/457)

4• Shaykh ul-Islaam Ibn Taymeeyah (d.728 A.H.) -رحمه الله – said:

‘There is no blame on the one who manifests the Madhab of the Salaf, affiliates to it and ascribes to it, rather it is obligatory to accept that from him and that is accepted by agreement, because the Madhab of the Salaf is nothing except the truth.’

Majmoo al-Fatawa 4/149

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Advice on the Right Methodology in Seeking Knowledge 

​Advice on the Right Methodology in Seeking Knowledge – [Isolating Oneself With Books and Mutoon]
Shaikh Saaleh Al-Fawzaan was asked whether it is enough to read the books and Mutoon of the people of knowledge without attending the sittings of the scholars….so the Shaikh replied, saying that this is misguidance- (regarding the path of the one) who limits himself to the books. This method is misguidance, rather one (has to go to the) scholars. Knowledge has to be acquired from the scholars. *Books are only a means similar to a weapon when you have it in your possession -are you be able to use it without learning how to use it. You have to learn how to use a weapon from those who know how to use it. They will give you instructions on how to use it. *The scholars are the ones who will train you to use the books – they know what is beneficial and sound in the books, and what is not beneficial. That is because many books are books of misguidance and evil, so none can distinguish what is in them and explain them except the people of knowledge. *It may be that the reader acquires a wrong understanding – he reads and acquires a wrong understanding, such as one who says: I read a hadeeth in Saheeh Al Bukhaari that there is cure for every illness in black seed; so he goes and consumes black seed and dies. That is because he did not ask the people of knowledge. *The scholars are the ones who know what is correct and what is incorrect. They are the one who are acquainted with the sound meanings and what is not sound. They are the ones with experience in this affair. *Will you take a book among the books of medicine and read it, then harm the people…and say I am a doctor! If this is not (allowed) in the field of medicine, then how about the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of the Messenger?! Therefore, one must go to the scholars. [Paraphrased and Abridged] 

http://www.sahab.net/forums/?showtopic=132580
https://www.salaficentre.com/2016/05/2-advice-on-the-right-methodology-in-seeking-knowledge-isolating-oneself-with-books-and-mutoon/

Beautiful Married Life

​It was said to Abu Uthman An-Naysaburi : What from your actions is most valuable to you? 

He said: I was in my youth and my family was striving hard to convince me to marry but I refused. A woman came to me and said : ‘O Abu Uthman, indeed I am infatuated with you. I ask you by Allaah, to marry me.’ So I went to her father, who was poor, and he married her to me and he was very happy with that. When she entered upon me I saw she was crossed-eyed, crippled and deformed. 

Due to her love for me she would prevent me from going out so I would sit with her to soothe her heart and I didn’t display to her any aversion, yet it was if I was burning due to the aversion which I had for her. I remained like this for fifteen years until she passed away.
There is none of my actions that I hope to preserve more than my (action of) preservation of her heart.

Ibn al-Jawzi رحمه الله‎‎, Sayd al-Kathir Page 132, Translated by Raha ibn Donald Batts.

If Allah cures me from my illness I will give such and such in charity- Impermissible Vow

Impermissible vows: If Allaah cures me etc from my illness, I will do such and such ie give charity in return etc 🚫🚫

The Dislike of Making a vow

478 – “Allaah Azza wa jal said: Making a vow does not earn anything for the son of Adam except that which I have destined for him. Rather, making a vow is something which makes a miserly person give. He comes to Me with that which he would not offer due to his miserliness. “

And in another narration: ‘He offers that which he never offered before.”

From The Fiqh of the hadeeth

This hadeeth, with all its different wordings, indicates that it is not legislated to make a vow, rather it is disliked.

The apparent meaning of this prohibition in some of its narrations is that making a vow is haram as some of the scholars have said. However, the saying of Allaah Ta’ala: “Rather, making a vow is something which makes a miserly person give.” One feels that this dislike or prohibition is specific to making a vow which is offered to Allaah as a recompense or which is done in exchange for a reward rather than a vow which, from the onset, is done out of obedience to Allaah. This (second type of) vow is purely a means of coming closer to Allaah.

This is because the one who is making the (second type of) vow has the correct intent with it, i.e. that he wants to receive an obligatory reward, which is better than the optional reward. This is the vow which is intended – and Allaah knows best – with the saying of Allaah Ta’ala: <> rather than the meaning of the vow which is offered as a recompense to Allaah or which is done in exchange for a reward.

Al-Hafidh said in ‘al- Fath (11/ 5000) that at -Tabari narrated an athar with an authentic chain on the authority of Qatadah who said regarding the saying of Allaah Ta’ala: <>

‘They would make vows in obedience to Allaah in their prayer and their Fasting, Zakaat, Hajj, Umra and in those things that Allaah had made obligatory upon them. Allaah labelled them as righteous people. It is clear that this praise is not for the making a vow which is offered as a recompense to Allaah.’

Before this he said:

‘That Qurtubi mentioned in his book ‘al- Mufhim’, that the prohibition in the hadeeth regarding the vow was that vow offered as a reward to Allaah, and he said:

An example of this prohibition is to say for instance, “If Allaah cures me from my illness then I will give such and such in charity.” The point of objection here is when the goal of coming closer to Allaah is given a condition, this then makes it clear that the action was not done with the pure intention of coming closer to Allaah Ta’ala rather he did it in exchange for recompense.

What shows us this is that if he was not cured -from his illness- then he would not give charity. So he attached the act of giving charity to (Allaah) curing him. This is the condition of the miserly person. Surely he does not give anything from his wealth unless he has a quick, increased return on what he gave.

So this is the meaning which is referred to in the hadeeth when the Messenger of Allaah said “Making a vow is something which extracts from a miserly person, that which a miserly person would not give”

Sometimes what is added to this ignorant belief is the idea that a vow means that the goal will be achieved or that Allaah gives him this goal due to this vow. This is also indicated in the hadeeth: “Without doubt, a vow cannot repel whatever Allaah has destined”. The first situation is close to disbelief and the second is a clear mistake.’

Al- Hafidh said: “I say: rather that the second type is also close to disbelief.” Then he brings a quote from al-Qurtubi in which the scholars regarded the prohibition mentioned in the narration is understood to be of disapproval. Then he says: “what is apparent to me is that, it is held to be prohibited for the one whom you fear has corrupt belief. Therefore it would be haram for this person to make this vow, and it would be regarded as disapproval for the one who does not have that corrupted belief.”

This is a good. Explanation and what supports this is the story of Ibn Umar, who is the narrator of the hadeeth regarding the prohibition of vows, since they are vows offered as recompense.

I say: what he intends by this story is what has been narrated by Hakim (4/304) by way of Faleeh bin Sulayman on the authority of Sa’eed bin Harith that he heard Abdullaah bin Umar when he was asked by a man called Mas’ood bin ‘Amr, from the tribe of Bani Ka’b, say: o Abu Abdur Rahman my son was in the lands of the Persians, from those who were with Umar bin UbaydAllaah in Basra. There fell a severe plague, so when this reached me I made a vow that if Allaah brought my son to me I would walk to the ka’ba. My son came, but he was sick and died, so what do you think? ‘

Ibn Umar said: Were we not prohibited from making vows?! Certainly the Messenger of Allaah -alayhis-sallat wa sallam- said; “A vow doesn’t bring anything forward nor does it delay anything, rather it takes something out of a miserly person.” Fulfil your vow.”

So, summing up, there is a warning in this hadeeth for the Muslim not to approach a vow which is offered as a reward. Therefore it is for the people to know this so that they do not fall into this prohibition whilst they thought that they were acquiring good by their deeds!

All Praise belongs to Allaah, may His peace and blessings be upon our final Prophet Muhammad, his Family, his Companions and all those who follow his guidance.

Posted from: The Ahadeeth of Tawheed, Explained By the Muhaaddith, the Allaamah, Shaykh Naasirud-Deen al-Albaanee (rahimullaah), Source: Silsilah Ahadeeth As-Saheehah of Shaykh Al-Albaani (rahimahullaah), Translated by: Abbas Abu Yahya (hafidhahullaah)

Listening to Songs

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Bāz [رحمه الله] said:

❝You may see a man appearing to be full of dignity, wisdom, delight of faith, solemnity of Islam and beauty of the Qur’an but once he listens to songs, his mind is disturbed, diffidence fades away, virility dwindles, delight vanishes, composure dies away, Satan becomes happy, faith complains about him to Allah and the Qur’an becomes inaccessible which thus, supplicates Allah [Exalted be He] not to make it coexist in one heart with the Qur’an of Allah’s enemy.

The man then deems good what he had deemed bad before listening to songs and starts to disclose the inner secrets of the soul. Staidness and calmness are then replaced by gossip, lying, ecstasy, and crackling fingers. The man then swings his head, shakes his shoulders, beats the ground with his feet, strikes his head, leaps like flies and turns like a beast moving a cartwheel. He then starts to clap hands as women do. Such a man may sometimes moan out of sadness and sometimes cry like a mad person.

An expert from among such listeners was truthful when he siad:

‘Do you remember the night when we gathered listening to good songs until morning? When the cup of songs was distributed among us and we were intoxicated without drinking. We felt nothing but the ecstasy full of joy that spread out there. When a caller to desires [singer] shouts out vanity soon becomes willing to come in. We then have nothing but our souls to sacrifice for the sake of eyes of the beautiful.’

Some pious men said, ‘Listening to songs causes some people to be hypocrites, others to be stubborn, others to be liars, others to be self-indulgent and others to be frivolous.’❞

[Fatwas of Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Bāz, (3/414) | Alifta]