I just feel horrible because I am unable to meet the standards I have put out for myself and also another reason is it is difficult to do what I would like to do when there are so many other things which need to be done. It is hard to find a balance between the person you would like to be and the person people would like you to be.
I am taking way too much stress which is having an affect on my physical health and also the fact that I can’t maintain a consistent healthy diet. It is on and off. Since November the mental stress has been affecting my body in ways which really has an impact on my daily routine. Stress is fine for me until I see the bad influence it has on my physical health and it really upsets me. I started taking medications but the side effect of the pills was migraine so I stopped. I know alternatives ways to tackle these issues but I can’t seem to find the right time.
My battle with coffee started back in October when I bought a Vietnamese cold coffee and I started feeling really anxious but I kept drinking it. It turns out I got an anxiety attack from the coffee. As a result I tried drinking all types of coffee and the moment I took one sip my heart would pound harder and there was no question of taking a second sip. I tried americano, latte, cappuccino, 3 in 1 coffee and nothing made a difference. I was extremely saddened by it and I discovered that only Arabic cardamom coffee (qahwa) of this specific brand doesn’t trigger my anxiety which made me happy.
However, it has been around 8 months since I stopped having raw sugar like with any drinks that I make for myself. So I don’t buy sugar and use it in my cooking. My doctor advised me to stop taking dairy, fried food, sugary drinks (sodas) and also fruit juices. I tried doing that for a week and it made a tremendous positive difference in my health. Then I gave up on the diet because I thought I had eaten these non restricted food all my life so my body can deal with it. You know these food are not new for my digestive system yet I was wrong. I have stopped having cereal yet I do eat butter, cheese and other dairy products.
It is like battling with myself and I feel so good when I am maintaining a healthy diet yet when I cheat once ; I tend to continue cheating and we go back to square one.
If there is any person who is maintaining a strict diet, I would really appreciate your advice.